Almost....

Yet again I find myself left empty. Time after time the hole is filled with faulty aspirations and unfulfilled promises, and every time I try to fill it with solid rock I find that the rock gets old because I'm too fake to delve deep. I'm tired of justification, metaphysical realism, platonic logic, and natural selection bull.........I need to be called. I want something to fight for.....to die for. What happened to chivalry? to selflessness? Why does the best man have to finish last? Why can I be seen as someone so great yet die a failure? The system is jacked.......

It's not like you said it'd be, not even close. The day hasn't come and the future doesn't look too promising. I'm left with nothing, solely that which was promised since before I saw light. I know what I need, but I don't/can't get it. Not because I do not try, but because I feel that I've felt it before and know already its capability. How can I be sure it'll be more this time? How do I know for sure that it's not faulty. What's my justification? What is my faith?.....Where is my faith?

I'm out of thoughts......